Thursday, July 23, 2009


Well- I made another birthday. I started thinking a bit about when I was only a day old. And that kind of got me thinking about growing older and the path I've taken in life. Next thing you know I broke out the photo albums. Below is a picture of me when I was only a day old! What a red head! Alex is holding me! Look at that sweet robe!

Then I saw this picture of Alex and I when we were in high school. Anyone remember those kind of phones? A chord!

Speaking of high school, I was so happy when I graduated. Holly even came to see the special day! What kind of shirt is that?

Then I found this picture of a trip I took to Wallowa Lake. I rode the tram!
Awww... the great memories of the view of the coastline near Heceta Head!

My latest birthday! A cake with my picture on it! Thanks Holly and Gina!


Ben Cannonball

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Front Page

A story in the Portland Tribune on the harsh economic times features a huge picture of North right on the front page! That's good press! I better buy another ad from those guys- they're actually pretty cool.

Some Really Great Ideas

I sent out a message to my friends David and Joel about some things I wanted to do on my upcoming trip to Ketchikan (don't get me started! :)!!!) and they replied with some really terrific ideas!

Time For a Company Meeting

Yesterday another one of those top heavy scrap metal trucks rolled over while turning on to the St. Johns Bridge. As some of you may remember, this happened to me last year in April. After someone tried to steal my 3 hole sink I was inspired to write about it.

Fortunately no one was hurt in either wreck. I thought I was doomed when it happened and was braced for some sort of injury. I feel lucky.... I feel really lucky!

This got me to thinking. Maybe someone at the front office of the scrap metal truck place should hold a meeting with the drivers. Maybe a topic of discussion could be how several people were almost killed at this one particular corner. Maybe they could have a map and show the drivers with a pointer and they could explain that they should slow down there, and remind them what has happened... at least twice! Maybe they are too worried about all the loot in the trucks to bother with safety meetings!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Foster Chess Club

Hundreds of people have been asking me for years about my experience in Foster Chess Club. Let me set the record straight- it was exhilarating! Foster was the elementary school I went to. Mr. Nolan was my sixth grade teacher and he loved chess and had chess club for all the 30 years he was a teacher. I believe he retired a few years after I left Foster. My Dad's girlfriend was working at Foster when he retired and as a going away gift to the school he gave the teacher's lounge a stainless steel tea pot engraved with words that said something like: To Foster School, Sincerely Mr. Nolan. I remember that Jennifer thought it was a hilarious gift. I also remember when I found out I was going to be in Mr. Nolan's class I literally cried to my Dad. Mr. Nolan was well known as the meaner of the two sixth grade teachers, and my brother Alex had had the good fortune of being in the other teachers class and loved every minute of it. I begged Dad to call the school to get them to switch me, which of course he didn't do. Thankfully I might add because if he had I would never had had the experience of FCC. The picture below is a fascinating moment in time that was created by the genius that Mr. Nolan was. We went to OMSI for the big season ending chess tournament. While there he took the pictures he had taken of FCC (Joel, Adam, Brian and myself!) and attached them with a special stamp and OMSI postcard and sent them back to Foster Elementary. Cool!

Here's a closer look at the kings of FCC. Although I was fourth board I always preformed best under pressure at tournaments. I think it was because I was distracted by telling to many jokes and drawing too many penises at school. As seen elsewhere in this blog- I could be a tournament star! I wish I still had that shirt. So many times I have regretted throwing away bags of old shirts that didn't fit me anymore.

The four frame sequence below is one of my proudest moments ever to exist in my chess club life. A mere ordinary person probably won't be able to comprehend the significance of the set of moves, but true chess masters, including Mr. Nolan, were stunned by my savvy while under pressure during a tournament. So impressed he was he printed out my moves (he watched solemnly from a few feet away as I played this end game at the tournament. Talk about stressful!) and transferred them to a transparency to display to the entire class the Monday after the big game! To phrase it so even the most simple minded will understand, to end the game as quick as possible I sacrificed my 5 point rook to a one point pawn, only to create room to check mate my opponents king with my very own pawn!!! Checkmate mother fucker!

The ribbons below are bitter sweet. The third place is probably correct, but the next year during the big junior high inner school chess tournament I could have easily taken the blue ribbon if I would have just stay focused. The entire school was invited to play in this tournament. After wiping the floor with the first six or seven woodpushers it came down to me and Adam, the usual second board. He was a good chess player but a real chatter box who I felt used this to distract his opponents. I stayed focused and pulled that game out somehow. Then it came down to me and the best player in the entire school- Grant Stephens. A true champion both academically and physically, and someone I was proud to call a friend all through high school. On another occasion I was teamed up with him to do a report on Mars and I worked extra hard to make sure I was pulling my weight. When I showed up on Monday he was all "Oh don't worry about it- I finished it" and we both got 100 points. After I had put 4 hours into it over the weekend not even one word I wrote made it into the final report! Grant went on to be our valedictorian and played baseball at Brigham Young. I remember during his valedictorian speech he did that Saturday Night Live skit where you would say a sentence and then quickly say another sentence under your breath that meant the opposite. I can't remember what it was called but it was something like subliminal message guy or something and would go kind of like this: We're all going to go on to great thing with our lives! except those of you who skipped class all the time... What a riot! Anyway- during the final game of the tournament Grant and I met face to face. I buckled down and tried not to draw any penises. Grant may have been a little cocky playing the fourth board and somehow I skewered his king forcing him to sacrifice a rook putting myself in a position to ultimately and completely win due to my dominance on the board. It was all on my shoulders to just stay focused and I would pull out the title of champion of the entire junior high. Of course, once I got the upper hand I lost focus. Grant quickly rebounded and forked my queen and a rook. Once we were on even footing again I was doomed and took home the red ribbon. Even so- I was proud of that too.

Check out my certificate of superior chess skills for the sixth graders! Nice caligraphy whoever wrote that! Unfortunatley I let my chess skills lapse and now I suck ass at the game. At least I have the memories!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Farm Country

I took a picture of this interesting billboard on the way to Jospeh over the weekend of the 4th. I wonder what it's trying to sell?

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Intelligence of Mark Sanford

This is an actual letter posted to the web site of the Alaska town I lived in for years. Old John Suter is giving credit where credit is due!